Enough

Lately I have been feeling like I am not "enough". It's hard to be enough when you don't know how much "enough" is though. I've been feeling lately like no matter how much effort I put into something it ends up to be not enough. Sometimes I feel like my personality isn't "enough". I'm not funny enough, smart enough, interesting enough. I'm just another thing that can be taken off of peoples ever overflowing "plates". What is this phrase "I have too much on my plate." I guess I can understand it but gosh it isn't the best feeling when people tell you that. Yeah, I haven't seen you in 2 months...but I have too much on my plate. Just another thing on their plate. And immediately it makes me feel like I must not be important enough to fit onto their plate. I don't ask a lot. A quick bite to eat, a trip to the temple, 15 minutes to just catch up. I just miss my friends. Sure I miss how once upon a time every night I had something to do but I don't really need that anymore. I'm okay with not having plans everyday. That doesn't change the fact that sometimes I am lonely and want to be with someone who loves me or that I just miss my friend and want to spend a few minutes with them. And it doesn't change the fact that repeated rejection hurts no matter who you are. Just needed to get that off my mind.