Sunday, May 25, 2008

Home

One of my favorite parts about being home is that I get to see people from my childhood & teenage years that I love very much and that know me quite well. One of my favorite people to see when I come home is my old Bishop. That man knows me well, I admire him very much and I always feel so accepted and so loved when I'm in his presence. He knows how to show genuine care for people, I want to be like him someday. I saw him at church today and everything I always experience when talking to him happened again. As we we walked out of church we were talking about some of the Bmore girls that are married or getting married. And then he said what many single people often dread but he said it in a way that I felt no pressure whatsoever. He said something along the lines of, You'll be getting married sometime soon too right? At least if there are any smart guys out there in Utah you will be. I felt no pressure, no judgement, just love. Then I said, oh eventually and when I do there will be a banner and probably a marching band. To which my Bishop responded "and I'll be right at the front of it all" I am so blessed to have people that care about me so much, everywhere I go. I have so many people that want so much for me and it makes things even better when I come home and I am in a place in my life where I feel like I am making those people proud. Why is it that everytime I come home I get deep? It's happening this time too. So many thoughts!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

One blog will not be enough.

I went to Boston. That's right, it happened. Even better, it was everything I hoped for and I never want to go back to Utah. Okay, I sure would miss some amazing people if I never went back to Utah but as of right now, I never want to go back to Utah. Monday is coming too quickly. I'm in Maryland right now visiting my family which is proving to be as wonderful as I hoped as well.
I won't go into the details of my trip today but I will say that I feel so blessed. Although we got lost often we had absolutely no problems (except when I sat in wet paint in my favorite clothes...there was no sign on the bench) and Corinnie and I had a great time catching up and picking up right where we left off as roommates 5 years ago. She is one of my favorite people and I love that we got to travel together. I'll say it now, traveling with an old roommate or a roommate is probably the best choice a person could make (except maybe a spouse of course). We know each others quirks, know when to leave things alone and know that when we're lost for two hours and we both stop talking it's not because we're mad at each other but insanely frustrated by the situation. I saw everything I wanted to see, did everything I wanted to do and fell crazy in love with the city of Boston. Just like I thought I would. Someday when I'm insanely rich I will live in Beacon Hill, or Bunker Hill I'm not picky. I'll post a few pictures (I took almost 300...) in this blog and in the blogs to come there will be many more.


Also, thanks to all of you wonderful people that responded to my "Curious" blog. It's nice to know that people read my babble so I think I'll keep on keepin' on. Onto the pictures!
The only way I know to describe my favorite parts of Boston is "quaint"
Bunker Hill monument. The sky is my favorite part. Rin and I with our dumb faces at Hahvahd (Harvard for you non Bostonians)

Necco Wafers!! Did you know those are made in Boston? One of my new favorite places, Botanical Gardens across the street from Boston Common.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Curious

I decided 3 blogs in one day would be fun. :) Really though, this one is about YOU! I want to know who reads my blog. From what I know there are only 2 people (Hi Care & Laur!). That might be it, but I'm curious. So if you're out there, hiding in the shadows, just post a little comment. It won't change anything I just want to know who out there is bored enough or loves me enough to read my babble. ;) Let the comments begin!

And, because I like pictures, for those who know Darcie (my favorite leader from YW's/one of my favorite people/a very dear friend) here is a picture from the Bmore Party a few weeks ago.

Woah

Ladies & Gentlemen, I am about to live a dream. Last November (or maybe October...) Chris challenged me to make a list of things that I want to happen in the next 5 years. It can be called a list of "dreams" or "goals" whatever, all I know is that it was a list. He told me that he wouldn't be surprised if, because I wrote it down, a lot of the things would happen in the next year. Some have already happened but they were smaller ones, but. BUT! One of the biggest was go to Boston. And Saturday morning when my plane lands in Boston Massachusetts that dream will be coming true. I really can't wait. The usual anxieties that accompany something like this are lingering within me but my excitement will win out in time. I have this idea in my head of what Boston is like and I really don't think I'm expecting too much. From everything I have seen & heard I know it will live up to it. There will be blog posts to come! I am living a dream! Now all I have to do to live more dreams this year is get married, have a child, get a Bachelors Degree & go to Ireland in the next 6 months. Completely possible. :)

And a few pictures because I love pictures!

Mothers Day in the Big City.



And that little face that will forever melt my heart and make me smile. I love being an Auntie!

Quotations

I love quotes. Once upon a time Kiely & I made quote books and I loved searching for new ones to add. Right now my quote book is packed up somewhere under my bed but some of my favorites are the ones my friends have said. So, for your reading pleasure (or maybe this is more for me..yeah probably) some of my favorite quotes! (Oh, and I said some of them but that doesn't mean I can't think they're funny!)

I want someone that’s taller than an inch…with real people clothes. ~Lori

Have you ever seen a hot homeless person? ~Beth

Your apartment has turned into hippieville since the TV left. ~Laura Fox

I’m like the man who has to hold up the world. Why do I inflict that upon myself? ~Kiely

Avril: Why should I care?
Beth: Because your mom said to.
Kiely: Word

You're talkin about Ben Tanner here, mountain man. He's out there skinning deer live and stuff. -Kiely

Hot dogs & eggs yummy yummy. -Ryan

If you turn to the side and stick out your tongue you'll look like a zipper. -Corinne in Brooklyn Accent

Until I have a boyfriend who dotes on me I can't feel good about myself -Lori

And you found out that the devil was your moms obstetrician -Dave Clawson

Rach: This looks scrumtious.
Rob: Thanks I've been working out.

It must suck to haul asphalt. -Amy

"I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in." -Kiely & Corinne

"I Love Them...in the good, HR kind of way." -Consultant speaking at my company meeting.

"Unrequited love KILLS!!" -Rachel, while explaining a part of Le Mis

"I am feeling VERY discomforted" -My twelve year old cousin Jason in response to some paintings of half dressed women at the museum.

Love you dawlin' -Gran (You really just have to hear the way she says it, makes me so happy EVERY time)

And now some less funny but still fabulous ones:

"The human spirit is stronger than anything that happens to it." -C C Scott

"Things do not change, we change." -Henry David Thoreau

"A turning point in growing up occurs with the discovery that our core strength within us can survive all the hurt." -M. Lerner

"There had to be the dark and muddy waters so that the sun could have something to background its flashing glory." -A Tree Grows In Brooklyn

"You gain strength, courage, & confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...do the thing you think you cannot do. -Eleanor Roosevelt

"One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night. -Margaret Mead

Thursday, May 01, 2008

I need to be someone I'm not.



For as long as I can remember I have put everything I have into my relationships. I have always thought this was a good thing, a positive attribute. In some ways I am still all for it and don't completely plan to change but I need to get to a place where I don't feel like I'm giving so much that it hurts when I don't get a lot in return. I know it's not because I'm unimportant to these people. I took the Love Language quiz and found that my love language is quality time. This definitely did not surprise me but knowing that it actually means something explained a lot about my behavior and about why sometimes I don't feel like I matter to people as much as they matter to me. My love language is quality time so I will drive far and wide as often as necessary to be with people that are important to me, even for something little or unimportant. That explains why it hurts when others aren't willing to do the same for me. So, here is the challenge. I need to step back and decide if certain things are worth it. I've had an inner battle for years about whether or not it's good to be so sensitive. I've tried to stop being so sensitive (and as a result stopped feeling all together, I'd rather be sensitive.) and have now chosen to allow myself to be what comes naturally to me in that aspect of life, which is to be sensitive. While I think it's a blessing to be a sensitive person, it also causes heartache, often unnecessary. So I'm not trying to be less sensitive I want to try to choose when it's really worth putting a lot into people or things. There are certain friends that I call because I know if I don't we will just lose touch. But really, is that worth it? Shouldn't I do my best and then leave it up to them? You can only call a person so many times before you start to wonder if they don't call you for a reason. Do I need to drive to the "big" city 3 times a week in order to keep a good friendship with someone there? No, I really don't. Often I want to because I have a lot of fun when I do go but it's not worth it if i'm going to be upset when that friend isn't willing to do the same. In both cases it doesn't mean they don't care about me. It just means we show/feel love in different ways. This is such a mix of thoughts but it's out there. I really needed to vent. :)

Now, on a happier note, I have awesome friends. Yes, we all know that already but I had a blast last night with some of my super happy & super cool friends Brian & Daniel. We helped a friend move and at the end had a photo shoot. Here are a few of my favorites.

Daniel, such a strong guy!









See that big bookshelf? Yeah they moved it all by themselves. So tough! :)


We thugz














Posers!