Thursday, July 07, 2011

Have you ever had one of those times where you were so lost in a moment and then when it's over you realize that you were dreading it ending?  I had one of those at a rooftop concert recently.  The whole thing was great but the encore and big finale were just plain magical.  Although I couldn't stay in that moment forever I now get to relive it because someone made a video of it.  Watch it, enjoy it.  It's hard not to.  But then again, maybe you just had to be there.



Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Loss

I've been thinking the last two weeks about growing up.  I remember a friend of mine telling me almost every time he saw me (usually about once a year or less) that I had really grown up.  I always thought it was a funny thing to hear from someone my own age but it also always made me happy because that meant that all of the work I had been doing was paying off. 

Over the last two weeks I have had that same thought about myself, "You've really grown up."  I've had what some are calling 3 big blows in the last two weeks.  On a Friday I found out that my sister and her family would be moving out of state, which although it is great news for them and I am thrilled for them, it left me feeling a great deal of loss and sadness and loneliness.  The very next day a long time close friend chose to end our friendship.  Again, I felt a great loss and loneliness.  After that horrible weekend filled with tears and heartache Monday came and I got up and went to work.  About a week later one of my favorite clients passed away unexpectedly.  Although he is happier and healthier the feeling of loss was (and is) great. 

Now, I don't recount all of these things to make you feel sorry for me.  I share them because I am happy to say that the Beth today got up and kept going the next day.  The Beth of a few years ago probably would have hunkered down in bed and hid from the world.  I think that with any loss or heartache you are bound to feel emotion but I have taken strength in my emotion.  I apologize to any of you that have had the good fortune of seeing me break down in tears in the middle of a conversation.  I apologize to the people on the road that have had to see my ugly cry several times in the last week (it seems that all of that thinking while driving leads to crying).  But I am proud of myself.  I'm proud of myself for embracing the emotions, for feeling the emotions and not seeing that as weakness.  And I'm proud of myself for getting out of bed and facing each new day even if I feel a little sad. 

One last thing,  since losing my client last Tuesday I have felt more and more grateful for my job.  Except for about 2 or 3 months where things were a little rough because of changes happening I have loved all aspects of my job.  I love getting up each day and going to work.  I love the variety of things that I get to do.  I love that every day is different.  I love being insanely busy and sometimes wish I had more hours to get things done.  It isn't always easy to be that busy but I really would choose it over the alternative.  But most of all I love the people.  I love the clients that I have the opportunity to support and I love the staff that support the clients every day.  My clients are some of the best people in the world and the people that work with them are right up there too.  I was reminded of this at the funeral on Saturday.  So many people came, people that work there currently and people that don't.  And they all loved this client.  It made me love them all more.  And it made me love our little guy more too.  (As if that is possible...)  Our little buddy taught us how to have nonstop joy during his life here.  Even if he was wrestling with you or picking on someone we would all just love him more because he made such a cute facial expression or noise while doing it.  Even when he felt great pain or was very sick he always had a happy countenance.  People were drawn to him and loved him deeply.  I miss him a whole lot, going to his house is going to be tough for the next little while but he is happy and whole.  He doesn't have limitations and I'm sure he is touching lives still.

There aren't many professions where you can meet such amazing people or feel such a sense of love and family because everyone is passionate about what they are doing and everyone knows that their little daily acts make a difference. I couldn't be more grateful for this opportunity and I hope I can continue to learn and grow with the help of those I interact with every day.  I feel passionate about what I do and that is a fantastic feeling. 

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

It spoke to me.

Pretty much all two of you that read this blog probably saw this video on my facebook but I wanted to post it here too because it really spoke to me and lets be honest I didn't want to say "This video spoke to me" on facebook because then people would think I'm some kind of weirdo or something but all ya'll that look at this blog already know that I am so Hey guys, this short film really spoke to me and I thought it was beautiful.  Yup, there you have it.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Happy

I have had a few requests for blogs...sad to say I'm not feeling much like blogging these days but I figured I would post something happy since the last one was kind of a downer.  (This was a request from my aunt).  So there you go, happy baby m&m (as her brother calls her).  And a cute video too...wow ya'll are lucky.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Day 24: A picture of something you wish you could change.

The current fog that is my mind.  I probably can change it but at the moment I can't figure out how...I will though.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Day 23 : A picture of your favorite book.

Lora gave this book to me as a gift years and years ago.  It makes me laugh out loud and I can read it over and over.  Absolutely my favorite book, I highly recommend it.  A Girl Named Zippy By Haven Kimmel

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Day 22: A picture of something you wish you were better at.

I'm back.  The weekend was busy and blogging was put on the back burner.  Speaking of burners...I wish I was better at cooking.  I love doing it but I am not skilled at it.  Coming up with different meals is a constant struggle and I wish I was a more creative cook.  I want to understand spices and what goes with what.  I just want to be better at cooking!!  Anyone have any fantastic recipes to share?  I'm always in search of great recipes!

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Day 21: A picture of something you wish you could forget

Why in the world would I post a picture of something I wish I could forget.  Defeats the purpose don't you think?  :)

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Day 20: A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

I stole this picture from Rach.  I want to go to Ireland!!  And someday I will.  :)

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Day 19: A picture of you when you were little

I've been so excited for this day.  Here you go, my favorite childhood picture.  Shows my horrible haircut (Sarah why was your hair so cute and mine so terrible?!?) and that my sister and I were goofballs.  Love it :)

Monday, February 28, 2011

Day 18: A picture of where you hope to be in the future.

I learned many years ago that life never ends up as you expect, it always ends up being better than you thought it could be though.  And so, since I don't know at this point if my future will be filled with family or a career or something else (?) I will say that in the future I hope to be a person that is kind, loving, accepting, serves, is faithful and happy.  :)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 16: A picture of someone who inspires you

I actually can't post pictures of the people that inspire me the most right now, I would love to but it would be crossing all sorts of lines.  I am inspired by the people I support at work.  They are seriously the best people I know and you can tell how incredibly special they are.  I love how quick they are to smile or to show love to people.  I love when I see them and they laugh or clap or say "I missed you" and kiss me on the cheek.  I love that they like to tell me about their lives and ask me for advice at times as well.  I love the things that I learn from them, like how to laugh in the simplest of moments or how to really believe in myself.  I love that they don't look at their lives with limitations, they plan for the future, they have dreams bigger than I dream for myself and they truly believe they can fulfill those dreams.  Perhaps they won't be able to fulfill some of their dreams but it certainly doesn't hurt to dream because that makes more things seem possible.

To my sweet friends that I have the opportunity to interact with and serve each day, thank you for teaching me and loving me and helping me to feel alive and like life has a purpose.  You have changed me for the better. 

Friday, February 25, 2011

Day 15: A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Ya'll might be shocked by this but I saw this on some travel show or something...zip lining in Catalina.  I was shocked by the overwhelming desire to do that when I saw people flying through the sky over beautiful scenery.  There may be cooler or more beautiful places to zip line but I have made zip lining in Catalina my goal.  Here is a picture of the Catalina zip line, beautiful right?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Day 14: A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

My momma.  I sure look up to her a whole lot and love her even more.  She is the perfect example of strength to me.  Love you!  (Isn't this a fantastic picture of her??  Love it)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Day 13: A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Sugarland

Train, especially Hey Soul Sister at the moment

Yeah, I'm one of those people.  The kind of person that sometimes enjoys covers of songs more than the original.
This changes almost daily...I definitely don't have a "favorite" but there are pictures of my current fall backs.  Especially today when my normal pandora stations all sounded super whiny and annoying for some reason.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Day 12: A picture of something you love


Boston, not a thing but I sure do love it and miss it all the time.  I loved this trip, my time with Corinnie and seeing that this place that I always dreamed of was everything I thought it would be and more.  I can't wait to go back someday.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Day 11: A picture of something you hate

I've been feeling a lot of anxiety for the last week and I hate it...so there is the closest thing to a picture of anxiety.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Day 10: A picture of the person you do the craziest things with

I don't do many crazy things...my lack of inspiration for this post makes me think that I need to be a little more adventurous.  Sad day...I'll have to take a rain check on this one and do it again another day after I figure out how to do crazy things and who to do them with.  :)
I did some pretty crazy stuff with Tom and my other MD pals in my high school days...Crazy to me at least, probably normal to most people.


I used to do some pretty "crazy" stuff with these guys, too.



Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 9-A picture of the person who has been with you through the most

 Maybe it's wrong to post a bunch of different people for this one but if it's wrong I don't want to be right.  :)  I have the best, most supportive people in my life and I love them all.  This one is hard for me as it is because if I could post a picture of every single one of the people that have impacted my life I would but that would be a bit much so I post the people that I consider my safe people.  These are the people that I run away to when it all gets to be too much and these are the people that welcome me in with open arms pretty much every time.  I love you all. And if you think I'm a horrible person for not posting a picture of me with my mom here are two things for you 1. I don't have a picture of me with my mom :) and 2. I'm saving that for another, even more appropriate picture blog.  It's wonderful to me that I met all of these people (except my sister, of course) in my first ward in Utah.  That ward blessed my life like I never could have imagined.


Ben, Amy, Corinnie and Lora.  Ben and Brenae's house is my safe place.  I wish she was in this picture too, they are an incredible support to me.  Amy who I can laugh with and run away to St George for a getaway.  Corinnie who goes on trips with me and is my #1 blog and facebook stalker and I have the best conversations with.  Lora, you've all heard about her already.  Love ya!!
My sister is a superhero.  She has a fantastic family and is an all around wonderful person.  She listens to me vent she listens to me cry and she listens to a whole lot of other babble too.  She sees good in me that I don't see in myself.  I hope I can be all of those things for her as well.
Chris is a wonderful friend to me.  He teaches me things, he challenges and encourages me to do things that are hard for me and he sees what I can be and helps me to see that as well.  He listens to my babble, he is far too generous to me and he makes me feel stronger than I am. 

Rach knows me, she gets me and doesn't require explanation about most things.  She calls in that moment when I need her and she is a true, loving and supportive friend.  She forced me to eat a protein bar when I got out of the hospital many years ago even though I thought it was disgusting and she did it because she cares about me.         


Friday, February 18, 2011

Day 8-A picture that makes you laugh

                   That's my Uncle in a flowery apron holding a beer.  Looove it.                                                                                        
Please sir can I have some more??
We're really big nerds trying to be models and I luff it.
It has been said that if you look up right as your picture is being taken your smile will look more natural.  Carrie and I can never quite get the timing down on it though...I wish I could find the pictures of us doing this as teenagers.  HI-larious. (Camille, I stole this from you.  Thanks!)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 7-A picture of your most treasured item.

This one is hard for me.  I don't really feel that way about my "stuff".  Although I do like my stuff.  Maybe I'm not being deep enough, who knows.  I do know that I love my car, Blossom, though.  She's cute, she's reliable and she gets me where I need to go without any worry on my part.  And she came into my life at the perfect time, not necessarily under circumstances I would choose but it all worked out.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 6-A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.


Either of these two cutie pants, for many different reasons.  Mostly because they get to play and take naps all day and when Austin does "paperwork" it involves crayons and construction paper.  Oh, and the best part would be hanging out with my sister all day.  Also I'd love to see what kind of chaos they created with my "paperwork" after we were done with trading places.  :)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 5-A picture of your favorite memory

 How about two favorites from last year?

#1 Seeing Wicked with Chris.  It was more amazing than I could have imagined.  The whole San Francisco trip is a favorite memory of mine.  It was a very healing and fun trip on many levels.  And did I mention that Wicked was AMAZING?

#2 Taking my sweet Austin to see Disney on Ice.  I loved seeing that little guy so happy.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Day 4-A picture of your night.

Happy Valentine's Day again!  A few pictures of my night...I promise I was there, just behind the camera.

Valentine's Day!!

Ya'll are getting two posts today.  Yup, that's just how much I love Valentine's Day!!  A day for wearing pink, telling the people that you love how you feel about them, making treats and sharing them, eating Lovesagna, and so much more.  :)  I have two Valentine's today.  One is my Gran and the other one is Austin.  I asked them both if they would be my Valentine and they both accepted.  I'm a pretty lucky gal. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day!  I love all of my friends and family and feel blessed to have you all in my life!  *hugs*

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Day 3- A picture of you and your friend.








 Well that's a broad topic isn't it?  I just picked a folder and found this picture that makes me laugh out loud.  That was a fun time and a really fun night.  So there we go, a picture of me (looking oh so attractive...) with my friend Brian.  Gooood times.  My former boss, Teresa, told me that I look like an oompa loompa in this picture...Can you see the resemblance?  How sad...

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Day 2-A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

 This was a tough one so, new rule, I'll post as many pictures as I want.  :)  I have a lot of long time friends in my life.  

 1st-In recent years, Lora.  We became friends soon after I moved to Utah and I would say she has been the most consistently close friend since.  We've been friends for almost 10 years and have talked, emailed or visited regularly the whole time as far as I can remember.  I love her because we think alike, feel similarly about things, have the same (fantastic!) taste in music and we just get each other.  She is like family to me and I love her for it!  (I was looking for old pictures of us and found this one which happens to be my all time favorite picture of Lora and I)


  #2-Officially the longest?  Laura.  We don't talk much anymore but we have been friends for as long as I can remember.  (You all remember the french toast/powdered sugar story).  Laura is one of those friends that I know that, if I needed to, I could call her out of the blue for anything.  Up until she moved away from Utah we saw each other pretty regularly and we always make time to see each other when we are in the same state.  Laura is probably the person that I have been closest to for the longest period of time.  Love you Laur!



Friday, February 11, 2011

30 Days

I found this in my internet wanderings and I thought it would be a fun thing to try since I love pictures and haven't been blogging much these days.  :) 

I have a list with something to post every day for the next 30 days and so, I begin with Day 1.

Day 1: Post a picture of yourself and 10 facts.


1. I never sleep soundly if I'm not sleeping with my teddy bear, Fuzzy.
2. Sometimes I don't want to be around people but there are a few people that I love to be around anytime, even when I feel like that.
3. I wish my hair was naturally a nice dark rich color.
4. I want to live in my current house for forever.  I love it so much.
5. I have a craving to run away again, I need to be rich so I can travel.
6. I work too much and think about work too much, and yet I still love it most days.
7. I have the greatest people in my life, my heart gets full and happy every time I think about it.
8. I love cupcakes, LOVE.
9. I love bags, and purses and always walk through that section in stores just to see if "the one" is there waiting for me.
10. Listening to music makes me feel alive.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

WAIT!! I'm a Pisces??

No wonder I had such a rough day...My whole world shifted and I didn't even know it.  ha!

How do you think the people who live their lives around their horoscopes must be feeling right now?  Their whole life was a lie...A LIE!! 

Ok, I know everyone and their dog is talking about this but it did make me giggle and after the day I've had that giggle was worth sharing.  :)  The funny thing is, I was doing pre-service for a new employee the other day and I noticed that his birthday is the day after mine.  He said oh, nice!  Aries!  I hadn't referred to my zodiac sign in forever, how random that someone would and now BAM it's different...I wonder how he is taking it.  Ok, I know I'm a big random mess right now but there it is.


And here is my new horoscope for today.  I even got some advice on how to plan a party...niiice!

"Focus in on the things that really need accomplishing and the rest of the day will move along quickly. Someone has good ideas and not realizing it, may just leapfrog you forward in your career. Up-to-date information is most important to your business and you work and research to find the most recent theories and research that will help in your future projects and contacts with professional people. A strong urge for the social life finds you visiting with the neighbors this evening. Planning a future get-together is fun and a good way to bond and to keep in the know around the neighborhood. Consider suggesting a time to enjoy games and each other's food with perhaps a progressive dinner. A treat at each house: appetizers, salads, side dishes and desserts."

Sunday, January 09, 2011

2010 did not suck.

I was just thinking about my New Years resolution for 2010 and I think it might possibly be the first one that I ever succeeded at.  Maybe I need to choose broader resolutions more often.  :)  For those of you who don't memorize my blog posts my goal for the year was to recover from 2009.  I'm happy to say that I did and had a pretty dang good year while I was at it.  It wasn't perfect, crappy stuff happened (Car was totaled, for example) but overall it was great.  I felt happy, grew stronger, moved closer to the city, got a job that keeps me busy and makes me feel like my days have meaning, moved to a place that feels like a home, bought a reliable car, overcame constant and debilitating anxiety (it's not gone but I can live again), went on a few trips and a whole lot more.  I couldn't be more grateful for what I have been given and for the great year that I had.

I hope this year will be equally rewarding.  A few goals that I have set for myself for this year include, read at least 2 books a month (I'm taking recommendations! I'm reading The Help right now, already my second book this month woo!), attend the temple more regularly, put my laundry away once it is done and a few more that I don't plan to share.  Mostly I just want to have more fun, love more and work at being a kinder, more grateful and more in tune person.