I have so much to be grateful for. I have a great family and amazing friends. I am a member of a church that makes me feel full and whole. I have a Savior who knows what I'm feeling and a Father in Heaven who knows me completely and loves me and shows me that by giving me so much. It has become so easy for me to forget all of the good things in my life as I have spent much of my time dwelling on the negative things. It is unlike me and has left me feeling like a different person. I'm aware of it though and I'm working on it. I was told recently that I've been running on empty. I gave everything that I had and hadn't been filled up in return. I learned that I was looking for that feeling of fullness in the wrong places. I was reminded that, although I have little energy to put into doing things for others, it needs to happen because for me helping people makes me happy. People in general make me happy and my avoidance of people has made me very very unhappy. And so I have embraced the mindset of "If it seems too hard, do it because it will only get harder if you don't".
I love this video you should watch it. What are you grateful for?
I'm grateful...
*to be an auntie because when nothing in this world can make me happy those two little people fill my heart with joy, simply by existing.
*for a family that loves me even if I don't deserve it.
*for a friendship that makes me feel whole and connected and accepted in moments when I can barely feel anything at all.
*for rekindled friendships and long lasting friendships.
*my new little "group" of friends at church and also for visiting teaching because if it weren't for that I'm pretty sure these friendships wouldn't have happened.
*when I walk outside early in the morning and all I can hear is the sound of cars on the freeway.
*for rice, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread, and FlipSides crackers (brilliant invention).
*that my roommate leaves her hairdryer out everyday. I feel it gives me permission to use it and that makes me happy because mine sucks.
*covergirl foundation.
*the words of prophets.
*jeans.
*difficult times in life that make me a stronger, better and more empathetic person.
*that I was raised with SO much love in my life. It taught me not to hold back when I love people.
*Gilmore Girls episodes that bring me comfort and familiarity when all I need is 45 minutes of nothingness.
There is much more but those are a few things. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas (I'll cover that now in case my lack of desire to blog continues.)
