I love the moments when I am reminded that I am not all alone in this life. My prayers don't go off into space somewhere and float around until luck comes around and my prayer is fulfilled or luck doesn't come around and it isn't. Days like today remind me of that. I'm not even really sure why I felt like this today but all day today I just felt a little bit sad inside. I can't even think of a reason I just felt a little sad and all day I had this almost physical ache for a hug. I've never felt this before so maybe I'm weird and the physical ache was in actuality just my muscles hurting from the intense weight lifting I did yesterday but I kind of think those pains were seperate. Anyway, I didn't really give much thought to it because although I am a very huggy person I haven't had a lot of hugging in my life the last few years and it's something I am used to. I still have certain friends that I am still really huggy with but they are usually the ones I don't see very often (like my Bmore girls.) So I just kind of figured this feeling would pass and all would be well but those feelings did not go unnoticed. Tonight we had a Relief Society Celebration dinner and out of the blue while our Bishop was speaking my friend leaned over and hugged me. At first I was uncomfortable, to no fault of hers, just because as I said hugging has been less common in my life of late. But then I had this spark in my mind that said "You needed a hug, there it was." And I felt better. It was a little thing but something I needed. Anyway, that was just a random thought I wanted to share.
Nate is getting married. I have come to terms with the fact that our friendship will never be the same and although I am sad I am also happy for him. Really happy for him. He is so happy and that really is what I want for my friends. Nate and I have been through a lot together. He took me to my Senior Prom and treated me like a princess while I treated him like a toad and then proceeded to ignore him for 3 months. We shared in the BSE (Best Summer Ever) last summer and the presence of Nate, along with Tom and Heather helped me to figure life out a little more and helped me to figure out the things that I needed to change. He is always a huge support to me and in some situations when something upset me I just wanted to talk to Nate. He is like a big brother and he will listen and give thoughts here and there if appropriate. So, for years I have joked with Nate that I wanted to be his Best Man when he gets married. This joke increased after I saw an episode of Gilmore Girls in which Rory is her grandfathers best man and she walks into the room dressed in a tuxedo and says "Best man in the house!" Yeah that pretty much wrapped it up for me, I have to be a best man...minus the tuxedo though. When Nate called the other night I jokingly mentioned that I want to be his Best Man and he said okay. haha!! He also said he was going to ask Tom and probably Chris also. I then told him I was going to plan the best bachelor party ever. Ah being a best man is so cool! Anyway, he is getting married in Minnesota which initially made me think that I just wouldn't be able to be there but then I remembered that this year I want to get out there and leave my comfort zone and have new experiences. For most people going to Minneapolis for a wedding isn't a big deal but for me, it's huge. First of all I'll be flying there alone which I have done before but I was always going somewhere that I was familiar with or I was going to be met by someone I knew. The plan is that I will meet Tom (and hopefully Chris and Jenn...) in Minnesota and then we'll hang out and do the wedding stuff then explore for a day after the wedding then I'll fly home. This trip is going to be a new experience for me on many levels. One being that it will be my first time going on an adventure like this one without a family member, with a group of friends in a place we aren't familiar with and because I will (99% sure) be able to attend the temple marriage of one of my friends which is something I have not had the chance to do up to this point. All these new things! Wow! So maybe Minnesota isn't exotic or that far away, and maybe meeting a bunch of friends there and going for a wedding isn't the most adventurous of trips but for me it's huge. I'm not letting fear rule me on this one. Fear of the unknown or any other fear that I will come up with i'm sure. Nate is important to me and being there for his wedding is very important to me. And plus, being able to meet half way (ish) between New York and Utah to hang out with one of my closest friends also doesn't sound like such a bad deal. It would be so amazing if Jenn and Chris came too. Pretty much it would be perfect...I might even forget that we're there for Nate's wedding. ;-) I'm sure more updates will come about this because for a girl like me, this is HUGE. Yay!
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