I'm shocked...how about you?

I'm moving.  It's still quite new (like I just decided on Friday kind of new).  As many of you know or have figured by reading my blog, life in Utah isn't really going anywhere for me.  I have a lot of people that I love very much around me but for the most part spend every night at my apartment, in my bedroom.  I enjoy my job and the people I work with but I don't want to be here forever and I have been feeling like it was time for a change.  I love Utah and I love the life I have had here and truly think of it as home.  But, for the last few weeks I have been anxious for change and after a lot of prayer, a lot of crying and a Friday night visit to the temple I have decided to move back east.  I want to end up in the Northern VA/DC area but I may have to spend some time at home if I don't find a job right away.  So, there are the facts.

Here come the emotions.  I'm scared.  I never thought I would be scared to move home, but I am scared to death.  I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a job, I'm afraid that I don't have enough education to make it in a city like DC.  But fear isn't going to make this decision for me.  I feel very strongly that this is what I'm supposed to do and so I'm going to do it.  On top of fear I am just so sad.  I'm sad to leave this place that has become my home.  I have made a life for myself here, I have been given some wonderful people that have become my family that I ache inside to think of leaving.  I'm leaving my sister and Jerr & Austin behind which is going to be the hardest part.  In fact I cry every time I think about it...so onward.  I'm excited to be closer to most of my family and to some fabulous friends like old roommate Lori, favorite travel buddy Corinnie (oh the trips we will take...), growing up best friend Joanie and her family, my dear friend Laura Marie and many others.

I won't be moving until April, which seems like forever and yet it's really not that far away.  So there is my news.  If you read this and I know you that means I want to see you before I leave.  As silly as it sounds to say that now I know that with some of us we have to work really hard to make it happen so, starting now lets make that happen.  

Thanks to everyone in Utah that has helped to make it home for me and to everyone on the east coast, I can't wait to be closer to you!

It's that time again!

Little known facts about Beth!! Hoorah! Okay, so I feel like I'm neglecting my blog but don't have the energy to write anything of worth so for now I give you the first little known facts about Beth of the year. Enjoy...or stop reading, it's your choice.

*Up until last week I only liked hot chocolate from Starbucks or from Marina (she makes it just like Starbucks.) I realized last week that the reason I never liked hot chocolate when I made it was because I didn't put enough powder. The powder to water ratio is a tricky thing and mine was sorely lacking! My friend Ben made me some last week and it tasted perfect and in that first sip it all came together. Now I've had 3 cups of hot chocolate this week and for me that is huge.

*My scalp is fickle and dry. After trying every single shampoo that is sold in grocery stores I found that, just like me, my hair & scalp have expensive taste. I have resigned myself to spending $30 every few months on shampoo & conditioner. This past weekend I bought a scalp treatment and shampoo. I'm trying a new fancy shampoo (Biolage like they use at the salons) and I'm in love with it. I don't know what it will do for my hair or scalp but I do know that I can't stop sniffing my hair.

*I don't know if this is just me but I run out of all of my necessity's at the same time, no matter when I bought them. In the last week I have purchased face wash, foundation, eye shadow, toothpaste, shampoo and am about to run out of computer ink. All of those things, my friends, adds up to a pretty penny.

*I decided that my slogan for 2009 is going to be Shine in 2009. Thank you all for your ideas! They were great!

*I am watching the Gilmore Girls series again in my spare time and, although this won't prevent me from continuing, I have found that my memorization is getting a little sad. Not only do I know what people are going to say but I know the exact tone in which they will say it.

*I joined 24 Hour Fitness tonight because I really wanted to go to a gym that is closer to my house so I can work out in the morning and shower at home. A person can only feel so clean when they shower while wearing flip flops. I went and worked out tonight and although I miss the familiar faces at the Rec Center and although there are parts of 24 Hour that are quite intimidating I think I'm going to like it. If nothing else I know I'll go because I am actually paying for it and I don't want to waste my money.

*I may be 25 years old, and I may declare that often as proof that I am grown up and old enough to handle life on my own but no matter what happens I now know that I will always need my mommy. I learned that while I was visiting my family and while my mom was here and I'm perfectly okay with it too.

*I really like to listen to music that most people are completely sick of because it was played so much on the radio. There are certain songs that I don't think I will ever get sick of because they bring back memories of happy times. Some of these songs include Hey There Delilah, Realize, Tell Him, Put Your Records On, Never Saw Blue Like That and many more. I have listened to Never Saw Blue Like That at least once a week since I was 16 years old. Yeah, I'm a cheeseball. Don't judge me.

Here is a fun picture from when I was at home. Goodness I love Jeffer! My next post will be filled with pictures from home, don't you worry.

Old Year New Year...

Here is the obligatory end of the year beginning of the year post all wrapped in one. I'm running a little behind on all of this because my mom is here and right now being with my mom, sister, brother-in-law and nephew is pretty much the only thing I want to do. But here I sit, waiting to hear from a friend about plans for tonight.

2008 was a great year. I learned a lot about myself and about where I want my life to go and how to get it there. I learned self control in many aspects of life. I went on a dream trip to Boston and it more then lived up to my expectations. I said goodbye to some wonderful people and was surprised by the emptiness I felt from saying those goodbye's and was left (this part isn't over yet) to figure out what I need to change in my life to fill that emptiness with good things. I spent time with family and friends. Grew closer to some friends and felt distant from others. I started the process of learning how to play the piano. I lost 35lbs (yeah that's right I said it.) I made new friends at work over a range of ages. I began the process of learning how to be more gentle with myself. And so much more...

I have high hopes for 2009. I want a lot of positive changes to come and I feel like I am ready for it. Sometimes I laugh when people make such a big deal about a new year and all of the changes that they want to make. I always say that I am constantly trying to change things and improve, and while that is sort of true I am grateful for this new year. I think I understand what everyone means by getting a fresh start. I want a fresh start. There are several aspects of my life where I am ready for a change and I want that to happen or begin happening, this year. Last year was a great year. I feel like I really grew and changed more this year then I have in quite awhile and that gives me hope for 2009 as well. I now know that I'm strong enough to take control of my life and I plan to keep on that path.

Some things I want to do this year:
-Live alone...far fetched but I will do everything I can to make it happen.
-Work hard at my WW goals and along with that work on my confidence
-Begin figuring out what I really want to do for the rest of my life (because editing the phonebook isn't it) and make steps to make that happen.
-Take better care of myself emotionally. I tend to put others before myself quite often (yes I know that sounds conceited but I feel it has gotten me where I am now and I'm not okay with all aspects of where I am now.) and I really want to figure out a balance. I still want to be me. I still want to care about people but I don't want to care so much that when that love isn't acknowledged or appreciated I am left with an aching heart and a mind that won't stop trying to figure out what I need to do to make that person care about me as much as I care about them. In addition to that, I need to figure out how to be able to talk about how I'm feeling. I have pretty much stopped doing that over the last few months and although my friends are probably grateful it is causing me a lot of pain. I have to figure out where I really can turn to be able to get these emotions and thoughts out in a safe place. Whether it be on my knees in my room, or to a friend or family member or a combination of all of them, it needs to happen.
-Really figure out Scentsy and how to boost my business while enjoying what I do and meeting new people.
-Save more money.

There is obviously much more, most of which are a bit more personal. But there you have it. My hopes for 2009. Now, an assignment for you. My roommates and I used to come up with a goofy slogan for a new year (usually something ridiculous like "Find a mate in 2008"). I want a slogan for this year. It doesn't have to be goofy, but it can be. Any suggestions?

Oh and there are pictures to come from my adventures of late but my camera cord is at my sisters.