The best.

I've always known that I have been given the BEST people in my life. My family, my friends, people that come and go quickly. Each has been for a reason and that is something I have always been aware of. Perhaps that is why I cling to friends so tightly. This morning I was able to spend time with a group of girls that have become my sisters over the last 7ish years and I was reminded of that today. For awhile there we were attempting to have a book club. It never really worked out because we all liked chatting far too much to actually discuss a book (assuming anyone read it...). To solve this problem we decided to do activities together instead. This months activity worked out quite well because Rach & Ames were both in town. It was so fun to catch up with them but mostly I just loved having everyone together. I always feel like everything is complete when so many of us are together. Breakfast was wonderful with lots of laughing and talking and those valued "girl" moments where everyone gets all fired up over one of their girl friends being hurt by a guy or a friend.

I just have to say that I'm grateful for these friends because they are mature, strong and independent women (in all of the good ways) that have taught me many things and have helped me to realize what I want to be more of. They have been a shoulder for me in difficult times, have laughed hysterically with me at nothing, have swooned with me over silly moments and have become the kind of people that I really feel I can share my heart with. I've talked about many of these girls before but I can't let this day pass without expressing it again. I left feeling sad because it is the last time, in the foreseeable future that we will all be together and sad because I just didn't want to leave because I love that feeling. And of course feeling joy because, really how could you not? Here are some pictures of the lovely ladies. And, if I do say so myself everyone is looking incredibly hot in these photos. I love you girls and I'm so grateful that I was in the right place at the right time to build such beautiful friendships with such beautiful women. You truly inspire me.

Auntie x2!!

I'm going to be an Auntie again!  My cute sister is pregnant again and I'm so excited!  Check out her latest blog for a cute video of her little monkey Austin and the cute picture she used to announce her pregnancy to the family.  Congratulations Sare & Jerr!!  I love you guys!

http://jerrandsare.blogspot.com

Days that I don't have to work are seriously becoming the best days EVER. Yesterday I came home from work and was sooo grumpy. I don't know what my problem was because nothing really happened but I was grumpy. Then today! Today was beautiful! The weather was amazing I got a lot done in my bedroom and got to just chill in my room with the window wide open shredding paper for much of the morning.

My afternoon was spent playing at the playground with Sarah, Austin & Porter. The weather was again beautiful (if not a little warm after running around in the sun) and the company was fantastic. I loved watching the boys discover all of the fun things to do. Austin looked a little overwhelmed at first because there was just soo much to do but it ended up just being fantastic. I went to Sandy and had dinner with Chris after hanging with the fam during the day and again had a great time, laughed a lot, had good conversation and left just feeling plain old happy! All of these things are the reason I decided to give up the extra $100 and not work two extra days in April. My last day will be April 17th and I'm thrilled. That gives me 12 days to hang out with my family and with all of my wonderful friends. I have less then one month of work left and I couldn't be happier about it (except the whole not having an income and leaving some friends that I love a lot.) I'm grateful for my job and have learned SO much and have met some wonderful people but I feel so strongly that the time to move on really has come.

Enjoy some pictures from a day at the park!



Austin & Auntie Beth on the slide.

The boys on the spinning thing...
Austin looking SO proud of himself on the swing. He sat like that almost the entire time.


The monkey. He was hanging all by himself for quite awhile, then he just dropped to the ground. He's strong. His shirt has a monkey on it, I wish you could see it in this picture.
Porter & Aunt Beth in the SPACESHIP!!

Ohh and what is a day at the park with out a "perprise" (Surprise) trip to get ice cream!!

Those boys were soo happy. (And so were Sare and I.)And last but not least, the funniest thing ever. Mrs. Sarah (my sistah) tells Porter to touch the car while she puts Austin in his carseat. This is to prevent him from running into the street of course. So, I'm not sure how it started, but he puts both hands on the car, as seen below. I laugh every time because it just looks like he was pulled over by a cop. Ba haha! Gets me everytime, and now I have it for forever!

A couple of weeks ago I was leaving the Draper Temple and decided to just drive around a little bit because I didn't want to go home right away. I ended up in a neighborhood that I spent a lot of time in about a year ago. As I drove past I felt a flood of happy feelings which I think came from all of the memories. There was nothing spectacular about the area or the things I did there but I had some wonderful quality time with friends there, felt really happy during that time in my life and felt a closeness with people that I long for. As I thought about it I became very sad because things have changed so much since then, but also grateful because any experiences that can bring an immediate warmth to my heart were worth every ounce of sadness that I feel when I miss those times. When I think about that time last year I realize that in almost every way, I feel like I'm still there, the only problem is that everything else has changed. My heart has stayed in that place. In my mind the friendships I had at that time are the same now as they were then. But after several weeks of thinking I realize that everyone has moved on. Sure, I'm still friends with the most important of those friends but it is different and I don't think I have allowed myself to believe that. As I prepare to leave my home of almost 8 years I can't help but reflect on what has gotten me to this point. The way my life is currently isn't ideal, in my opinion. And I keep thinking that once I leave it will be better. Or that because I am leaving my friendships will grow stronger for this last month and a half that I have here. Sadly this is what is making me realize that everyone has moved forward while I stayed comfortably in place. It's not a good realization to have and it makes me wonder who this person is that I have become. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing outside of myself, watching the way I'm acting and I just shake my head. If anyone else were to be doing the things I am doing I would think they were weak. And yet I continue. And I am weak, because I don't have the strength to change it. This is where things get difficult. If things are this way now, they are only going to be the same or worse once I leave. I think I have a lot of free time now? My free time is going to triple if I don't have a job. And what will I spend that time doing? Wishing I were somewhere else? Wishing things were different? Wishing I were different? What good do any of those wishes do me if I'm not doing something about it. This is such an incomplete jumble of thoughts but I needed an outlet and I guess this is it. My life is changing, whether I like it or not.

I'm in a rut...

I just went to the grocery store and walked around for 30 minutes trying to find food that sounded good and was healthy that I can eat for lunch and I left with english muffins, for my breakfast. I am in a food rut! I go through phases where food just stops sounding good to me and I'm in a huge one right now. I can usually figure SOMETHING out for dinner and then I eat it everyday for a week. Breakfast is easy, I eat egg whites on an english muffin every day and have been since October. But lunch. Lunch is my trial. I don't love sandwiches, especially if they are cold and made with cheap nasty tasting lunch meat (which is all I can afford when I'm trying to save money to move across the country). I just don't know what to eat!! I need help! Anyone have any suggestions? Recipes? Anything? I'm begging here people. I need healthy lunch ideas. Oh, and don't suggest soup. I have issues with soup unless it is homemade. I am not a fan of the amount of sodium found in all canned soups (even the low sodium ones).

PS I have a Redbox rant boiling inside of me but I'm refraining because I have already ranted once before, but just so you know, I waited in line for 10 minutes tonight to get a movie that I reserved online. 10 minutes may not seem so bad but when you are the 2nd person in line it is that bad. That couple got nasty redbox vibes from me. Worst part? The movie wasn't there. It was in the other Redbox that wasn't working. The only good thing that came out of it is that I got 2 free Redbox codes when I called to get a refund. You may think that is a rant, but if you could hear what I was really thinking you'd know this is nothin'.