Happy Thanksgiving, back.

Every year on Thanksgiving I get that lovely line from You've Got Mail stuck in my head and say it over and over again. Love it!

Happy Thanksgiving friends and family! I love you all! I am grateful to have a family that loves me more than I deserve, friends that see the best in me and support me always, a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and many blessings that I work to be worthy of everyday and am very grateful for. I'm also grateful that in one week I'll be at home with my family!!

I'm off to have an "untradational" thanksgiving with Chris. Our dinner includes Chris' famous tacos, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, sausage stuffing and much more. I'm grateful to have the "tradition" of Thanksgiving with my friend. I hope you all enjoy your day! Love to you all!

4:30 AM

4:30 AM has become my least favorite time of day. Without fail every morning at 4:30 I wake up. Some days it I only stay awake for a few minutes and then fall back asleep and some days I stay awake for hours before falling asleep again. I have also been having trouble falling asleep at night. My mind just thinks and thinks and goes over and over every little thing that happened during my day or every little thing that I need to get done at work or every little fear that I have about the future or the present. I agonize over things that I said the day before and worry that I hurt someone or said the wrong thing or didn't take care of something.

I have never had this problem before. I've always been able to fall asleep and stay asleep and I miss it. In part I am grateful that my heart is so invested in so many things that it keeps me up at night, while at the same time it isn't healthy. It makes my temper short and some days my patience non-existent. I've been working on being more positive and seeing the good in every day but a lack of sleep makes it harder.

Everyone cross your fingers that I can sleep again someday.

In other news, I fell in love today. One of the people we support at work came in with his new puppy and I almost died. I don't usually fall in love with dogs so quickly but this one stole my heart in seconds. I couldn't get enough of him! They let me take him out of his carrier and I just sat there and snuggled with him. I can't remember the type of dog he was now but all I know is that he had beautiful blue eyes and soft white fur and it made me want a dog more than I ever have before. Anyone have a puppy that I can cuddle with and then give back??

Fun!

On Friday night Brenae asked all of us when the last time we gut laughed was. We started talking about having fun and "playing" more. The conversation struck me because it is something I have been thinking about for awhile. I remember being in San Francisco with Chris and having a conversation about it. He did a good job of trying to let go and ended up being goofy and dancing around the hotel room while I sat there and could literally feel fear and lack of confidence stopping me from joining in. So it's a new goal for me. I want to enjoy life more. I want to be less serious and find the fun in situations. I want to laugh more and and play more. So this is where my journey to find the fun in life begins.

How do you guys have fun and let go of the seriousness of life? I'd love to hear about it!

I find that ehow.com is full of great ideas. They seem to have an answer to anything that I google. Here is the answer to how you can have more fun in life. :) http://www.ehow.com/how_5684593_fun-improve-life.html

Thank you November!

How about a long one to make up for the last 4 days?

I was just thinking yesterday that November has been awfully kind to me. A lot of my favorite people were born in November and they aren't just your everyday, hey that person is swell, kind of friends. They're the kind I see being around forever. Like old and gray sitting in rocking chairs on the porch talking about "the good old days" kind of friends. The ones that, even though we may not see each other often, I feel a constant connection to. You know the kind? This is my mini-tribute to them. The first birthday of the month was my little niece Emmy but I've already given her an entire post. And here they are, in order by date. Ready? Go!

Heatherfer strangling me while hanging out in our favorite place.

Heatherfer, Heffer, Heatha Lee, Heather Bee Lishop- November 12th- Ah, she's a good one that Heatherfer. Our friendship began because of her mom. It was one of my first days going back to church after several years and her mom came up and said that she couldn't wait for me to meet her daughters because she just knew that we would be friends! Heather is one that I rarely see but when we're in the same state we always make time to get together. There is no awkwardness after months of not seeing each other, just a whole lot of talking and laughing and catching up. I sure love her for that!

Joanie and I making a snow man over Christmas break before she was a wife or a momma.

Joanie-November 14th- She may have less nicknames but that doesn't mean I love her any less. :) Joanie and I met at EFY and grew a long and lasting friendship over many trips to Kings Dominion and Fredericksburg, VA. We had sleepovers galore, drove from state to state visiting friends (still can't believe our parents let us do that...) and ate a whole lot of food. Joanie and I haven't lived in the same state since we were 17 and have never lived closer than an hour or more drive but we have made it work. From visits to Idaho or Utah, a drive to North Carolina over Christmas break or the many drives to Frederick and Baltimore we've kept a friendship that I don't plan on ever losing. :) She's married and a momma now and we don't get to talk much but I love her and I love her insight and I love knowing that we'll always be friends. Maybe someday we can live closer to each other. :)

Al and Conor while painting our living room.

Al, Alley-son-November 14th-Another November 14th? Did I forget to mention that most of these friends were born within a week of each other (in different years of course). Al and I were roommates at The La Hacienda and are roommates once again. I feel like we are the perfect roommates and I'm a wee bit sad that she'll probably be leaving me in the next few months for an eternal roommate but these things happen (especially when you live with me). Al and I have a lot in common, and are also very different. I love her for her willingness to ask me hard questions and to challenge me to be better. We've gone long periods of time without seeing each other or talking but it tends to be pretty normal once we see each other again. I'm grateful to be able to live with Al for a few more months before life changes.

Proof of Chris encouraging me to face fears.

Chris-November 17th-Yup, even my best friend was born in that one week period. See, November is good to me. Chris and I met at the ripe old age of 18 and bonded over the making of enchilada's, roommates that threw tables and an epic (EPIC!, chris) prank war. Our friendship grew after his mission and now I consider him like family. We've gone on many adventures, including San Diego, Vegas, San Francisco and Gaithersburg. We've had our moments and our difficult times but we've always come out of it and usually stronger. He has the ability to make me laugh even when I don't want to, he encourages me to do things that I'm afraid of, I have told him things that I don't see myself sharing with anyone else. I feel like I can be myself around him and although I have walls that prevent me from being perfectly confident in things he proves to me again and again that he won't ever look down on me for feeling a certain way. When I look at where our friendship started and look at it now all I can say is, I'm grateful. We've been through a lot, a lot of things have changed, we have changed as people and we have gone through a lot of difficult personal times but our friendship has lasted and gotten better along the way. This poor boy is stuck with me for the long haul. :)

Sassy and Uncle Tommy-November 26th-Thank you November for giving me an Aunt and Uncle. :) They're pretty great. You probably wouldn't guess that they are twins upon meeting them because they couldn't be more different. Some people think it's odd that I'm so close to my Aunt. Our family is weird like that though. She's a fun aunt and a loving and involved aunt. Sometimes this might mean that she's a worry-filled aunt as well. :) We're pretty lucky to have her. As for Uncle Tommy, I was afraid of him until about 6 months ago (ok...maybe a few years) but I'm finding that he's just a big joker and a loving guy. I may have ruined "the big game" the day that I was born but I think at least part of him was glad I was here. :) I'm excited to see them both when I go home in a few weeks!

Aunt Debby-November 28th-Sad that not having facebook to remind me made me forget my Aunt Debby. My apologies! I always love seeing my Aunt Debby and going to their house. Christmas without going to their house never feels right to me. A few years ago I had to fly back to Utah on Christmas and everyone (especially me) was so sad that I had to leave before the festivities really began. Much to my joy the flight was overbooked and I was able to fly home the next day. I loved walking back into Aunt Debby and Uncle Tommy's house and hearing all the joyful sounds. It felt like Christmas for real at that point. Have I mentioned that Aunt Debby is also a wonderful cook? I want to be like her someday!


Corinnie, Rin, Wee Wee-November 30-Corinnie was one of my first roommates and things started out a little bumpy. Then out of the blue over Christmas break we realized we missed each other and talked for several hours on the phone. Ah, that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Corinnie is one of my favorites and I love our phone dates. (I hate that we have to have phone dates but busy lives call for such things.) After traveling with Corinnie I decided that either SHE is the perfect traveling companion or it's just that a former roommate is the perfect traveling companion. We spent 5 days together 24/7 (even had to share a bed) and never fought. We both had frustrating moments, mostly due to getting lost on a regular basis and we just knew when to leave each other alone. It was perfect. Corinnie was with me on the horrendous drive across the country when I moved back to Maryland. It was long, and I was sad and very much lost in my thoughts most of the time but we still managed to have fun and come out of it still friends! Go us! Corinnie and I laugh lots when we are together and she is a fantastic listener. We can always count on each other for a good rant too. I'm sure that we'll be friends for many years, we have to be because we have many more Boston trips planned. (We have a 5 year plan, it's serious!)

Random

I get to see my momma in less than a month. The thought of that makes me all sorts of happy. I haven't been home in almost a year and a half and I haven't seen my mom since the beginning of the year sometime...March maybe? That's far too long in my opinion.

Sleep is calling me. This whole blogging everyday thing is harder than I remember but then again maybe I'm busier this time around. I really like being busy and I like that I'm learning new things every day. Never a dull moment.

I've worked with my best friend for the past 6 months. Although we have had some hard times, I count myself lucky. He taught me many things that I don't think I ever would have been trained on otherwise and he has been a great support on hard days.

We broke down and turned the heat on today. I don't know if I feel good about it or not. I guess I'll know how I feel when we get the gas bill.

I am having dinner with my roommate, her boyfriend and another couple on Thursday. It's funny how I can hang out with the Ben, Brenae, Lora and John and feel like I belong and how I can think about this dinner and think nothing but "5th wheel 5th wheel 5th wheel." I'm sure it won't be like that but the fear is always there.

I haven't been sleeping the best lately. It annoys me. Thank goodness for Allison's laptop. I have been falling asleep to Gilmore Girls episodes. It's the only way I fall asleep. I should probably give it back sometime though.

Speaking of things I should probably do...time to get ready for bed.

Where have I been?

Have you guys seen this?


I don't know about you but I thought kids these days were still jamming out to the original (I mean with gems like Zoot Suit Riot and Barbie Girl and MMMBop why wouldn't they be?!) But they're on #36 now?!? This is crazy! The worst part is that I just listened to a few of the songs and don't know most of them. I'm becoming an old woman! I need to start listening to the radio STAT.

Now, my question is, what happened to Jock Jams? Now THAT was quality music. You can buy the "audio cassette" here if you are missing the old days...It's $4 for used or $6 for new (new?!).

This is for you sister. I remember listening to this over and over again when we were teenagers.

Do you guys read Nie Nie's blog? She inspires me a whole lot so if you don't read it you should check it out along with this mormon messages video that shares her story.

Today when I was checking my reader I found a new post on Nie's blog. She posted a video of her husband singing with Mindy Gledhill and for some reason it brought a whole lot of joy to my heart. So today I want to share it.

Life is a blessing, enjoy the small moments.

I missed a day but it was worth it! :) I was busy playing with my niece and nephew and Maya and hanging out with my sister and Lora and Ben. It was a lovely 24ish hours and a needed "get away". If you can call it that.

This past week was hard and draining and it's making this whole blogging every day thing a real challenge. I guess it's a good reminder that life isn't perfect but with a little faith you can do anything. I'm trying to be a little bit stronger. I'm trying not to think too much or regret too much. I'm trying to make the most of my weekend and see what Monday brings. Hopefully it will bring goodness but if not, I know where to find the strength that I need. Now if only this pit in my stomach and ache inside of me will just go away I'll be all set! I just need to remember that I'm not perfect but I'm doing my best and so is everyone else.

Today I'm thankful for my Emmy who was super cuddly and lovey with me today. She has no idea how much I needed it. I'm grateful to Austin for playing the "hittin' game" (where we ram cars into each other and then laugh really hard) and to my sister for letting me sleep in her bed after I got carsick and to Jerr for grilling really yummy hot dogs and to Lora for distracting me from life and being an amazing friend and to Ben for letting me stay at his house and making steak and egg burritos for breakfast. And for lots more...

So You Think You Can...

Dance!!!

I went to their show tonight and it was so great! For all you SYTYCD fans, I'll share the highlights!

-Robert (doi)
-If you watch the show and remember the betrayal dance that Neil and Kent did and loved it...well, you missed out because Kent and Robert danced it together tonight and it was incredible!



-Russell, Dominick and Jose dancing together. It was amazing! And so funny! I think the producers made the right choice letting Dominick go on tour he added a lot of humor that wouldn't have been there otherwise.

(Found a video of it on youtube!)


-The group Bollywood dance. It was so fun!
-The group Disco dance, ALSO so fun!



-Robert and Allison's Fix You. Maybe it is because I'm super emotional today or maybe it's because that dance touches me but I cried a whole lot. It was beautiful.
-Kent and Lauren's prom dance going directly into the My First Kiss dance (which was originally danced by Kent and Anya) It was so fun!



-Lauren and Russell doing My Chick Bad...Russell doesn't hold a candle to Twitch but it was a fun dance to see again.

Oh and I can't forget, they showed a video of Alex and Twitch's hip hop. I love it every time.

There was tons more and it was all amazing but those were my favorite parts! And for your viewing pleasure, a video or two.

(They won't let me embed these...how about some links! :)


Fix You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TsR1yiAe9g

Twitch & Alex
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLtSfYX8tJk


Some of the first videos were other people's recordings so they aren't great but there it is!! Going was worth every penny and I'm so glad I got to go!

1??

My niece is 1 today! I kind of can't believe it! I'll be honest, I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to love another niece or nephew as much as I love Austin but sweet Emmy proved me wrong. I guess your heart really does grow! :)

I don't get to spend as much time with those two kiddos as much as I would like BUT there are some things that I super love about Emmy!

I love that when she smiles her ENTIRE face lights up.
I love that she can be super friendly and walk around saying hi to people that she doesn't know and that she can also be shy and cuddle up to her mommy and daddy.
I love that she recognizes my voice when she hears it on the answering machine.
I love that she makes a funny breathing noise when she's excited.
I love that she is getting old enough to remember me and will come to me with no reservations (and very very very occasionally will choose for me to hold her instead of her mom...it's rare).

I love that she is a fiery little thing. She may be the second child but she makes her presence known.
I love getting her out of her crib and holding her when she first wakes up. She is always happy to see you and she can be really cuddly too.

Happy Birthday Emily Mae! I love you!

Auntie Beff

Life

Today life kind of distracted me from the idea of blogging. For years I have been wanting to be busy and to feel fulfilled and it makes me so happy when I get home at night feeling like I had a great day filled with hard work, good people and a little bit of relaxation too. I come home at night to a place that feels like home. I have a roommate that is the best "fit" I could imagine for my life where it is right now. I have a job that, although busy and sometimes stressful, I can't wait to go to the next morning. I live close to a real city and I absolutely love the location. I have great friends and have tons of fun with them. I work with people that teach me how to love more than I knew was possible. I am in a very small ward and it reminds me that my presence there matters. I can make a difference and make some great friends too.

Is life perfect? Of course not. Do I complain more than I should? Definitely. When life gets hard or overwhelming these days the best thing to me is that when I stop and think about things all I can feel is gratitude. Now I just hope that I can do everything I can to keep this feeling no matter what happens around me. I was reminded of this when someone spoke in church and shared a story from high school. He said that his institute teacher asked them if they felt like their lives would end if their girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with them or if they couldn't play their favorite sport or if they lost a friend. He told them that if they did feel that way their lives weren't based on the right thing. When I put my trust in the Lord I know I can feel stronger in any situation than I would if I wasn't.

This is a huge jumble of thoughts, but really what's new? I think I'll go read Harry Potter now. :)

Dedicated to Corinnie

I've been thinking lately that it might be fun to do another month long blog-a-thon and that idea is becoming a reality because of Corinnie. Yesterday she wrote on my facebook that I need to update my blog more often. So Corinnie, I dedicate this month of blogging to YOU! (Could you ask for a better birthday present? I'm so generous, I know.) I will do my very best to post every day. It's kind of fun being an every day blogger. Life suddenly becomes more interesting and I have more moments of "I could blog about this" than I do when I'm not thinking about blogging.

Can't wait to see what this month has in store for my life! :)